Boy to man

 I'm the oldest of the 5 kids my mom had. I have 3 sisters and a brother. My sister's are smart, confident and beautiful. They are successful and responsible, great parents and role models. My brother lives in Montana with dad(step dad) after 35 years of putting up with my shit he is dad.. My bro has took over dad's fencing company and thriving in business. He is a great man I wish we were closer but we left when he was 2 and I haven't seen him much. Anyway being the oldest I needed to lead by example and when our real dad died in 1987 I became the 9 year old man of the house. 9 year old man that now had to watch over my 2 sisters. I did my best even 5 years later when my mom and step dad divorced and we went back to California. I was 15 and drove our suburban pulling a 20ft U-Haul trailer the 1600 moles from Montana to San Diego.. it was my proudest moment in life up to that point it still ranks in top 3 I felt proud of myself, I felt grown up.

  It's a harsh reality that I was more responsible and more of a man when I was 15 and 16 then any part of my adult life. Now as a 46 year old homeless loser I can honestly say that.